Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My vagina is officially offended.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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