just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
