Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
