woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
