I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
