I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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