I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
