white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it because I queefed?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
