Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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