yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
