yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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