sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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