all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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