can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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