On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
why do cheetos always look like penises
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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