Swine flu. Run for my life!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize