Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize