woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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