Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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