Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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