how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
