You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Last time i carry you out of a forest
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize