Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
