I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
