I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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