i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
