Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
