Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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