Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
