Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
