I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
