i was born a porn star she said
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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