i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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