So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
