redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
