You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
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I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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