i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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