i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
