We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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