Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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