I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Is it because I queefed?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
