3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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