I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
