just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let's get the cat blown out
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
