I cockslap morals
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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