Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize