yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
