I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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