okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just want to make out with him forever
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
