Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
