i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
