she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
