It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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