The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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