Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
