Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
