You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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